Stupid Christmas Carols - Last Christmas

[Chorus (2x):]

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye.
Tell me, baby,
Do you recognize me?
It's been a year,
It doesn't surprise me
(Merry Christmas)

I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying, "I love you,"
I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been.
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again.

[Chorus 2x]

Oh, oh, baby.

A crowded room,
Friends with tired eyes.
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice.
My god I thought you were someone to rely on.
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on.

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart.
A man under cover but you tore me apart, ooh-hoo.
Now I've found a real love, you'll never fool me again.

[Chorus 2x]

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart (I gave you my heart)
A man under cover but you tore him apart
Maybe next year I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special.

Copyright by wham?
     Alright, another Christmas song to rip our hair out over, and wonder just what it is suppose to mean. Lets dig in.
     The song starts with the chorus, which already has me puzzled, so this girl gives somebody her heart, which they proceed to give away the next day causing the girl to cry. Last I checked there is nothing wrong with giving a gift that was given to you, to somebody else. A gift upon being given transfers ownership from the giver to the recipient, it is then the recipients to do with what they will. There is nothing, absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be able to give something that was given to you to somebody else.
     So the guy gave the girls heart to somebody else??? Excuse me, but how, HOW, HOW do you do that??? Giving your heart isn't exactly something tangible that can be regifted, unless the girl literally tore her heart from her chest and gave it to this guy, in which case she would be dead and not crying, also if somebody gave me their heart that they had just torn out of their chest, I would probably not want to keep it either, that's just gross, I don't know about giving it away, but I guess it is illegal to sell body parts, so it's either give it away or throw it out.
     Verse one just eludes me entirely, once bitten twice shy, does this mean she was shy twice, or her shyness is multiplied by a factor of two, and if it was multiplied by two what is the baseline for shyness, and how do you perform a mathematical operation on it? If that wasn't bad enough it then goes on to say that she sees him, and tries to stay away, but finds herself continually looking at/for him. Then she asks him if he recognizes her, like WUT? Why, so many why's, if this guy hurt you why are you hunting him down, and initiating conversations with him, it's just such a bad idea.
      The song just keeps getting worse and worse, she sends this guy a Christmas card saying she loves him, and she means it. She just finished explaining to us why he was a worthless jerk and then says she still loves him anyway. I guess after sending the letter she realizes just how stupid she has been, but then puts up an offer to let him kiss her.
     Seriously what is this girls problem? So we cut back to the chorus where she reminds us of just how terrible this guy is that she just sent an I love you card to and said she'd kiss....
     I really just can't go on, she starts the next verse by calling him baby, seriously, what kind of morbid twisted reality does this girl live in? So we find her, him, and a bunch of other people at a Christmas party, doubtless drinking eggnog and eating cookies. She's hiding from him, seriously would it kill her just to make up her mind about this guy, send him a letter in one verse, then hid from him in the next, every chorus tell us how you hate him, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
     The second half of the second verse, and the third verse I honestly have no idea. I can't figure out if she found a different guy that was a "good" guy but her previous "lover" killed him (tore him apart), or if she fell for the same old guy again, who one more proved why he is a worthless excuse of a human being and used her.

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