Stupid Christmas Carols - Santa Claus is coming to town

     This post comes to you on the beckoning of reader Anneli Oberman.
     My last post about stupid Christmas carols was well received so I was encouraged and decided to do another, this time I'll be looking at the song Santa Claus is coming to town.
 
You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming to town!
 
He's making a list,
And checking it twice,
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town!
He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake.
He knows when you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake!
 
OH!...You better watch out, You better not cry
You better not pout, I'm Telling you why.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake.
He knows when you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake!
 
OH!...You better watch out, You better not cry
You better not pout, I'm Telling you why.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
 
 
     Right off the bat, crying and pouting are naughty? Since when, says whom, I can think of plenty of good reasons to cry or pout. Would you say a child was naughty if they cried when their dog died, or a favorite toy broke, or Windows crashed for the eighteenth time in a day? If you answered yes to any of those you are a MONSTER. Just kidding, but seriously why does crying get you on the naughty list?
     Moving right along, somebody please lock this creep up in a deep dark cell, far away from humanity. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when your awake, when you're good and bad, sounds like a major pervert to me. Why is this even allowed on the radio? An old man, spying on kids all the time and keeping track of their every move, kinds reminds me of the NSA, but let's not get political there are far more important things to do. Where's the child protection agency when you need them? Why is this alright? There is but one way to describe this, a creepy stalking big time creep is watching your every move, man I'm glad he doesn't actually exist, as there are only a few cases where watching somebody sleep isn't flat out creepy, if it is your spouse, young child, or some relative on their deathbed, outside of that you shouldn't be doing it.
     What painful revelation must I make next, ah yes, the list, the infinitely long list on which is recorded the actions of every child, and which Santa reads and complies a list of good and bad to see if you fall into the naughty or nice category. I love how he checks it twice, I'm supposed to believe that Santa can make this list of everybody's actions for the entire year, parse it twice to create the naughty and nice categories, and triple check about twenty percent, that's for the ones that come out different in the double checking, and somehow he still has time to deliver the presents and coal. I don't think so, just making the list would more than consume every hour of the day. I don't know the exact number, but there are a lot of people in this world of ours, there is no way physically possible Santa can pull this off.
     One last thing, why exactly are we watching out? And what are we watching out for?