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Stupid Christmas Carols - Frosty the Snowman
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Sun, 12/04/2016 - 01:17
Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul,
With a corn cob pipe and a button nose, and two eyes made of coal.

Frosty the Snowman, is a fairytale, they say.
He was made of snow, but the children know he came to life one day.

There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found,

For when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around!

Oh, Frosty, the Snowman, was alive as he could be;
and the children say he could laugh and play,
just the same as you and me.

Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
look at Frosty go.

Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
over the hills of snow.

Frosty the Snowman, knew the sun was hot that day,
so he said, "Let's run, and we'll have some fun now, before I melt away."

Down to the village, with a broomstick in his hand,
Running here and there, all around the square,
sayin', "Catch me if you can."

He led them down the streets of town, right to the traffic cop;

and only paused a moment, when he heard him holler, "Stop!"

For Frosty, the Snowman, had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye, sayin' "Don't cry, I'll be back again some day."

Frosty the Snowman, what a crazy song, like how does a pile of organized snowflakes come to life? I get the magic hat part, but how does that enable his mobility or self consciousness. A classic snowman, which I imagine this is doesn't have legs, so his movement must be in the form of hoping, which the thumpety, thump, thump suggests. Snow, hoping around should break to pieces though, shouldn't it?

Now there is a slight bit of extra confusion added in this song, and I'm puzzling over what exactly the author meant, when he/she said "Oh, Frosty, the Snowman, was alive as he could be;" A snowman can't be alive at all, so as alive as he could be isn't alive at all, which would seem to completely contradict everything else the song says. On the flip side it could be meaning that he was so alive that he couldn't be any more alive, though last I check being alive is binary, you either are or aren't, and if you aren't alive you are dead.

Adding to the confusion is when Frosty "says", "Let's run, and we'll have some fun now, before I melt away." So he is still made of snow, otherwise why would he be melting in the sun. Problem is running uses muscles which create heat, heat that will melt the snow, now maybe snowmen muscle doesn't create heat when it is doing stuff, but every other muscle I know of does that so I see no reason that snowman muscle wouldn't. To add even MORE confusion why he a snowman that "magically" came to life melt. When that magic hat was placed on his head why didn't it alter his chemical makeup such as that he wouldn't melt when the temperature rose above 32 degrees? What kind of magic hat was this?

Frosty isn't just a snowman, he's also a law breaker, notice how he doesn't stop for the police officer, I get that he might not understand laws and everything, as he is only a snowman, that came to life with a magic hat that can't prevent his melting, but he seems to talk to these kids, so I imagine he should understand the meaning of the word stop, especially as he pauses for a moment, as if to think about whether he want's to follow the instructions of the officer or not, taking a turn to the dark side, he proverbially spits in the face of the law and runs away. Stupidly enough he tells the police that he'll came back some day, so they can put him on the wanted list, as he isn't just a one time freak of nature, but something that seems to have a bit more intelligence than just an animal. Which makes this all the more freaky. Thinking back to the start of the song, why didn't the kids freak out when the snowman came alive? I know I'd freak out if I put a hat on a snowman and it suddenly came to life. That is just weird, snowmen aren't suppose to live, they are snow, not flesh and blood. Maybe these kids all belong to some dark satanic cult and bringing things to life is the norm for them, we'll probably never know. The Illuminati usually doesn't like to let too much of that information out, surprised that this song is even played on the radio, one would think the reptilian brotherhood would have purged it from the earth.